Sport of Motherhood

Friday, November 03, 2006

Honoring Grief

While I researched grief and grieving and interviewed people for my November TV Show on the topic, I was wowed by the stories of loss around me. When people in the community found out this show's topic, they often shared moving stories with me. I heard about full-term miscarriages, SIDS deaths, and other accidents. Most times, tears readily came up, and I realized how so many of us carry our grief around - just under the surface. A talk with a stranger or friend can bring it all right back even if years have passed.

One Korean mother, whose father died over a year ago, told me that people are expected to grieve for at least 3 years in Korea. Here in America, she said, it seems as if you are supposed to move on shortly after the funeral is over. She has since brought out a white hair ornament - part of Korean tradition and has moved back into a period of mourning. It is helping her to feel her feelings and explore her loss. She already feels better by honoring her grief.

What are your thoughts about grieving? Do you think we skip over the grief because we are in a quick-fix culture? If so, what is the fallout?